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Well today should have been the day that I took Emmalee to Primary Childrens Medical Center to be fitted for her helmet but I just couldn't bring myself to do that. I am still fighting myself because I know that it is something that is more easily fixed right now than say in 6 more months but I just don't want to be doing something to her that she can't fight me on. I think that if I have to do something as horrible as make her wear a helmet every day all day than she should be old enough to fight me. I know that sounds crazy - especially to you moms - but it is like with Brooke when we fought her all the time to take her seizure meds I know get to tell her that it was for her to make her not have anymore seizures. I didn't like fighting her but she now knows that when she is given medicine it is to make her feel better and she has never fought us on taking her meds. I know this helmet thing is different but I still feel like my daughter should have a say. She may not win her fight but atleast she will get the chance to voice her dislike. I just realized I haven't told most of you what we found out. At her six month check up I was told that all of her sutures were not closing the same which is the reason that her head is growing lopsidded. The only thing that the Dr. said could happen is that one side just won't close by itself causing them to have to go in and surgically help them close. What they would do is re-open the closed sutures and then put a helmet on her head to help them close the same the second time around. But the only reason they would do the surgery is if they noticed that the brain was being affected by the shape of her skull. I didn't understand it all but I guess basically if you don't have enough room in your skull parts of the brain won't develope. I don't understand how that would be affected but we are told to trust the Dr. right?!

I also talked to her Pediatrician (the one who has been with Emmalee since her initial problem in the hospital when she was born) who agreed to let me wait. He said that he could see a difference from her 4 month charts to her 6 month charts (so who knows maybe it will close itself. I will have to take her back in for a CT scan in 2 months and if there isn't a change then she WILL have to go be fitted for a helmet. We will let time tell us what to do I guess. Still two months won't put her old enough to be teachable about how this is for her good.