Tag....

I am: A Daughter of a Heavenly Father, who for some reason, has entrusted me with five beautiful children. Some days I wonder if he made a wise decision and then others I am eternally grateful for the chance to be a mother, especially in these last days.

I think: I am lucky to be a mother in these last days. It is amazing to see how brilliant my children are and how spiritual they are. I know that they were saved for these last days because of how strong they are.

I know: That the Church of Jesus Christ is the true Church and that we are so blessed to be apart of it. I know that by us living the gospel we will be saved. I know that the trials that we have here on earth are only here to make us stronger. (it is easier to believe when we aren't going through trials!)

I want: To be able to afford so many things for my kids. But realize that the most important things to give them are my time and my love. I want to be better at both of these things.

I have: A wonderful Husband who puts up with major roller coaster rides with my emotions even though roller coasters usually make him motion sick. He is so forgiving and so loving. He would do anything for me if I could just figure out what it is I need him to do.

I dislike: VEGETABLES!!! Which is probably why I can't lose the weight that I would LOVE to lose.

I miss: My parents!! I miss the feeling of being security with finance and such things. They did a really good job hiding any financial problems that we might have had growing up. And now that is my biggest stress! I miss hearing their testimonies they would bear to us. I miss having them close to me.

I fear: That my daughters have already been cursed with the awful depression that lurks around me quite frequently. It has already shown itself with Brooke and she is only 7. I hate to see her come home from Church or School upset about something that to anyone else would be nothing but to those who have depression or any other mental disorder it is HUGE.

I hear: Jayden playing with Emmalee, making her coo and laugh at his silly faces. I hear Cora snoring on the love seat. I wish I could join her but Brooke gets out of school in 20 minutes. I hear my Instrumental music that I play all day to help keep my mind calm!! I hear the wind blowing - which is normal up here in the Mountains. I even hear birds... they are scrounging for the night crawlers in our front lawn. At times we have had up to 60-70 birds in our front lawn.

I smell: Apple Cinnamon Spice Febreeze. I have to squirt it a couple times a day (after each poopy diaper I change). I smell my Lasagna cooking in the oven and can't wait for supper.

I crave: My Mom's cooking. She really is the BEST cook!! I only wish that some of her talent had rubbed off on me. I also crave Grandma Nelson's Chicken Noodle Soup and Hot Homemade Bread!!

I cry: Nearly every day lately. With all the stresses that each of us face it is amazing that any of us are sane anymore. I cry with my children when they have been hurt by someone. I cry at movies and books (but it was Tyler who cried during "Rudy" not me!!). I cry when I get happy and when I see sweet things from my children. Yesterday I caught Cora singing "In My Daughters Eyes" to Anna (watch for later post! I am trying to get it on the computer) and couldn't help but cry. Even watching the video that I got still gets me. It was such a sweet gesture and Anna was there telling Cora she was doing a good job. What is an already emotional Mom supposed to do?!

I usually: Catch up on everyone else's blogs and then am so tired of sitting at the computer that I don't update mine as often any more.

I search: The cupboards for chocolate that used to be there but when shopping tell myself not to get anymore or I will never lose weight. Now that I am done having kids there is no more excuse to not lose the weight.

I wonder: If money will ever catch up to us or if the expense of things will just keep going up. I wonder if it is possible to be TRULY happy. I get happy about certain things to just turn around and find that those things are usually what I worry about the most.

I regret: A lot of things but mostly I regret that I might have lost my relationship with my family. I regret always having a list...I know my kids will grow up detesting lists because mine always means there is work for them to do. But that is how I evaluate myself most days...by what got done and what is left for tomorrow.

I love: Living in Dutch John. It is so calm and beautiful. There is not very many days that I hate it out here, only when I HAVE to go grocery shopping and DON'T want to seeing how it is an hour away. I love being IN the mountains and getting to see right up close God's hand in all this beauty.

I care: About what people think of me. I always want to do my best and get upset with myself when I don't.

I always: Have a list for everything. I have started listing everything that has to be done during the week. I always love having our friends come over for supper. I love the time we get but also the food is always better when you are sharing it!!

I worry: Constantly about finances and whether or not we will make it past today.

I am not: Always easy on myself or those around me. They say we are our own worst critics and I can agree to that (not easy to do but I agree!), my older kids can attest that I always crack my "Fingers" (I don't believe in whips!) when they are doing something they know better at. Some people would call cracking my fingers snapping but cracking just sounded better. I can remember when I was on the phone with Amber Kelly and was telling her about how all I need to do is snap my fingers and it gets my kids' attention. Well I snapped my fingers and guess what Cora and Anna (who were very innocently kneeling on my bed looking out the window) both looked at me to figure out what they were doing wrong.

I remember: Growing up and all the one on one time that I got to have with my Dad. When Mom would go to Grandma Nelson's house and he had to stay home I would stay home with him. I didn't like to see him be by himself. I remember him going to Blimpee's and getting sandwiches and we went to a park in Ogden and had a picnic just the two of us. I remember going to Church and having to sit with another family in the ward so I wouldn't be by myself since Dad was in the Bishopric. I LOVED those times and only wish that I had done the same thing with my Mom. I think I learned my appreciation for him earlier than I did for my Mom because of the one on one we got. I now appreciate my Mom more than ever because I know first hand how hard it is to be a good mom and still get the job done!! It is not possible to be the nice mom all the time when there are things you are trying to teach your kids. I do love them both for the mere fact that they have put up with me all these years.

I believe: That people make mistakes but should be given the chance to make it right even if it takes them a long time.

I dance: With my babies while watching "Ellen" I dance with them when they are fussy and I have to stand with them (it is amazing the muscles that get worked just by swaying back and forth!)

I sing: With my kids as often as I can. We love to sing!! Especially to "Josh Groban, Celine Dion, or any Disney" songs. Brooke can sing "You Raise Me Up and a LOT of the Disney songs. Cora can sing "In My Daughter's Eyes" by Martina McBride and very well if you ask me. But don't ask either one of them to sing to you because they won't. They only do it if they think no one else is watching or listening to them.

I don't always: Say my prayers and read my scriptures (There you now know!) I find it is hard when the dark days come and they come more often than I would like.

I argue: With anyone who will put up with me because I will argue until my point get across and then it is great to see how many people I get turned to my opinions. (Question for Mom and Dad - In Amys' blog she also says that she will argue, and I have seen Crystal do it as well so I am wondering who we got that from!!) I got to be the Foreman in Jury Duty earlier this year and got to use my arguing skills to turn the Jury towards my point on one of the counts. (If you haven't heard about it yet let me know! I love reliving it. In fact I have decided to go back to school in Criminal Justice when the kids are all in school!)

I write: Whenever the chance presents itself. I am trying to write a book right now and find it is harder than I thought. Reading books make it seem like it would be so easy but its not!! But then I also have chosen a harder topic to write about - maybe that is my problem.

I win: At Skip-bo when I play JayDee. That is one game that he can't figure out how to win. It is all luck and then knowing when to play your Skip-bo cards!! I got plenty of practice at it growing up. I had to teach him though so I wonder why he didn't pick up on my tricks?!

I lose: About every other game that JayDee and I play. I have told him that I will NEVER play Mastermind with him again because he slaughtered me. That game is pure strategy!!

I wish: That Money Grew On Trees...but then I would have to wish that we had a tree in our front yard that I could get it from!!

I listen: To music every night as I go to bed. My brain chooses bedtime to replay everything that went on during the day and then try to figure out what is going on tomorrow but if I have my music then I can drown myself out and focus on the music. We do the same thing for our kids too.

I don't understand: Why our President Bush gets so much grief about EVERYTHING when there isn't anyone that I could picture doing better except maybe our dear Prophet because of the help that he gets from above. Here in a couple months we are going to have a new President and what do you bet that whoever it is won't be able to do any better!!

I can usually be found: Reading Twilight series (yes I am slow getting through the fourth book!), playing with the kids or trying to entice them to get the house cleaned or taking a nap so I can have more energy when the kids wake up from "Quiet Time". But if I had my way I would be Scrap booking the 1100 pictures that I just had printed off!!

I am scared: Of going further than our yard at night. Not because of who I am afraid I will run into but WHAT!! I really don't want to see what would happen if I were to cross the path of a coyote!!! And we have plenty of them around here.

I need: A way to get past the stresses that I encounter every day. I need to be more easy with the kids and more loving to my husband. They deserve so much more than what I am giving right now.

I forget: ...What!!! I never forget!!! Just ask JayDee!! LOL!

I am happy: When I get to see the sweet moments with my kids, when I am near my husband, when I hold sweet little Emmy in the rocking chair, when Anna climbs into bed with me at night (I have told JayDee that if she is to wake up to let her in bed because she is the BEST snuggle bug!!) I am happy to see my kids grow and see how smart they are. I am happy to be living where I am and with the people that I am living with.


I tag: Mom (Yes this is so you can get started on your blog) Dad, Chad, Amber and JayDee